


for your eyes only

by SEMellark



Series: Twin Flames [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Melodrama, Mentions of other characters - Freeform, Post Season 2: Episode 5, bc hinata is a gay who assumes the worst always where kageyama is concerned, twin flames
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-24
Updated: 2018-09-24
Packaged: 2019-07-16 08:30:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16082345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SEMellark/pseuds/SEMellark
Summary: Shouyou never wanted to know what it felt like to lose his Twin Flame once he found them.





	for your eyes only

**Author's Note:**

> Currently obsessed with the concept of twin flames. We read about them in class and my thoughts immediately went to Hinata and Kageyama. So, here's this mess. 
> 
> I'll probably revisit it again in the future. I have p l a n s

It should probably be a little horrifying, the first time Shouyou hears the words _twin flames_ aloud in association with him and Kageyama.

Maybe it’s because it’s Yachi who says it that he doesn't freak out. She’s known for getting her way with pretty much anything as far as the volleyball team is concerned, even if she hasn't been with them for very long. Yachi just has that ability to soften everyone around her, drawing them in and putting them at ease despite her flighty, nervous demeanor.

They’ve been together a lot lately, just the two of them. Ever since the whole… _thing_ with Kageyama, Shouyou’s kind of drawn away from the team. It was subconscious at first, keeping to himself during and after practice and disappearing as soon as he was able. He actually hadn’t even realized he was doing it until _Tsukishima_ of all people pointed it out, shooting some snide remark at Shouyou’s back as he’d changed, something about the royal hissy fit he was throwing rivaling _the King’s._

Everyone laughed, but it was awkward and half-hearted. Especially since Shouyou’s and Kageyama’s bruised and bandaged bodies were just on display for everyone to see. Shouyou had never actually minded Tsukishima that much, but in that moment, he was so furious he could hardly see straight.

It didn’t help that Kageyama just… didn’t do or say _anything_. Just stood there across the room from Shouyou.

Shouyou had slammed his locker shut and stormed off, leaving an unusually hushed quiet in his wake.

The day after was when Yachi started meeting him for lunch, marching into his classroom at the bell with a wrapped bento in her hands and a confidence in her step that didn’t quite match her eyes. She even walked part of the way home with him after evening practice, the only sounds exchanged between them being the squeaky chains on Shouyou’s bike.

He doesn’t mind the company, not really. Mostly he’s just guilty that Yachi feels like she needs to babysit him. Is he really that hopeless without Kageyama around that he incites the sympathies of everyone he sees these days?

As much as he hates to admit it, his reaction to their fight isn’t all that unusual… considering the circumstances.

It’s something Shouyou’s still trying to come to terms with, but when Yachi finally musters up the courage to ask, he isn’t too uncomfortable. It is what it is, at this point, no matter how depressed that makes him.

He should be happy, is the thing. But these days, Shouyou just isn’t.

“So, Hinata… I was just wondering… if you don’t mind my asking… “

“You know I don’t,” Shouyou says, knowing she needs an extra push sometimes.

Yachi purses her lips, staring down at the empty bento in her lap. Shouyou leans his head back against the tree they’re sitting by, stares up at the dappled patterns of the leaves above them. “What’s it like,” Yachi asks, barely above a whisper, “having your Twin Flame?”

Twin Flame. Shouyou turns the words around in his head, tries to ignore how awful they make him feel when they never have before. 

“It’s like, um.” Shouyou squints up at the sky, tries to remember how he’d felt that day, seeing Kageyama for the first time. Recognizing him intuitively although they'd never met. Seeing his face, looking into his eyes and thinking,  _There you are. Finally._ “It’s kinda hard to explain. You know I’m not good with, like, words and stuff.”

“Give yourself more credit,” Yachi chides, as she often does during their study sessions. “You’d get better scores if you just applied yourself like you do with volleyball.” Shouyou snorts, giggling when she leans over to bump her shoulder against his. “I’m serious!”

“I saw myself, when I looked at him,” Shouyou says once his laughter has subsided. Yachi doesn’t pull away from him, and the warmth of her shoulder against his is comforting. “Just for a second, though. It was like looking into a mirror. Scared the crap out of me.”

Yachi hums, and Shouyou tilts his chin down, staring at their outstretched legs in the grass. He knocks his sneaker against hers in the slightest of twitches, and she immediately nudges him back. “We’ve never talked about it, but I think Kageyama felt the same thing. He just stopped and stared at me with the _biggest_ eyes.” Shouyou frowns. “Then he just went back to being his dumb jerk self.”

“He means well,” Yachi says immediately, although Shouyou doesn’t think she’s spoken one-on-one with Kageyama yet. He doesn’t even blame her, really. She’d have to carry the conversation, and neither she nor Kageyama are particularly good at that with people they don’t know very well. Shouyou is usually the middleman when it comes to other people’s dealings with Kageyama, although he can’t very well do that right now. “I think. Probably.”

“He should just… _get it,”_ Shouyou grumbles, clenching his fists in his lap. “We’re _bonded._ Why doesn’t he understand that I have to do this to get better? I'm tired of him not treating me like an equal when we're literally the same.”

Yachi doesn’t have an answer for him, although Shouyou didn’t expect her to. His relationship with Kageyama isn’t exactly easy for him to navigate either, and he’s soul bound to the guy.

No one’s really talked about it out in the open until now, Shouyou and Kageyama’s status. It’s something they’re ill-equipped to deal with, even Daichi and Suga, who always seem to have advice no matter the situation. It’s a weird topic everyone just tiptoes around, even Coach Ukai and Takeda.

They just _are_. Kageyama Tobio and Hinata Shouyou. Karasuno’s first-year Twin Flames.

Shouyou hasn’t even told his mom yet. He’s sure she knows something is up, although there’s no way she’s guessed that her oldest child met his Twin Flame at fourteen. Especially not when she hasn’t even seen him and Kageyama together.

If she had, she’d probably be more than a little suspicious. But until that day comes, Shouyou doesn’t really know how to bring it up to her.

“It can’t be… good, right?” Yachi asks, recapturing Shouyou’s attention. “You two being away from each other like this?”

“It’s not too bad,” Shouyou insists like the liar he's been since his and Kageyama's fight. From the concerned look Yachi shoots him, she knows it, too. “I mean, yeah, I miss him,” understatement, “but it’s not like I need him around to function,” not entirely true but no one needs to know that, “and he doesn’t seem to be missing me all that much anyway, so – “

“He does,” Yachi blurts out, although she winces almost immediately, touching her fingers to her lips. “I mean, Yamaguchi-kun said… “

Shouyou straightens his back the slightest bit. “Yamaguchi? What, has he been talking to Kageyama about this?”

“Not… necessarily. Kageyama isn’t exactly the most forthright when it comes to you.”

“Why would Yamaguchi care? He doesn’t even like us.”

“He does!” Yachi seems particularly insistent about this. Shouyou doesn’t really understand it. “He just – Tsukishima-kun is – It’s super complicated, but please don’t just assume people don’t like you, Hinata.”

“Am I really assuming? They’re pretty obvious about it,” Shouyou points out, though he feels like he should probably back off, judging by the increasingly distressed tone of Yachi’s voice. “Why are we talking about Yamaguchi and Stingyshima? I’d rather talk about literally anything else.”

Yachi sighs, drawing her legs close to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. “This is all such a mess.”

“You’re telling me.”

“I really want to fix it, you know?”

“This isn't something for you to fix,” Shouyou says with a sigh. He’s had a lot of time to think about this over the past few weeks. “It’s Kageyama’s fault for being an ass, and it’s my fault for fighting with him. We’re the ones who have to fix it, I just… don’t know how.”

“You haven’t even spoken,” Yachi points out, sounding upset. “Watching you guys now is just… _really_ sad.”

Shouyou can imagine. He can’t exactly see himself from her perspective, but he does see Kageyama everyday, even if they don’t speak.

Shouyou doesn’t need Yachi to tell him that Kageyama misses him as much as he misses Kageyama. It’s written all over Kageyama’s face, all the time. He looks miserable in a way Shouyou’s unfamiliar with, somehow even more worn and haggard than he looks when he talks about his days at Kitagawa Daichi.

It’s even started bleeding into his body language, like in the way his eyes will start to shift to Shouyou during a scrimmage only for him to abruptly freeze and snap his gaze to something else.

“He’s my person,” Shouyou finds himself saying. He can’t take the words back, although he _really_ wants to. Because once the words are out, they just hang in the air between him and Yachi to the point of suffocation. His eyes burn. It hurts to breathe. “It wasn’t supposed to _be like this._ ”

“Oh, Hinata,” Yachi says, uncurling her body and reaching for him, twisting into an awkward angle to wrap both arms around his shaking shoulders. “It’ll be okay.”

He knows she’s right, is the thing. He and Kageyama will get over this eventually. No matter how much they fight, they always come back together in the end. Because they’re two halves of a once greater soul, split and flung apart and left to wander.

But they found each other. They beat the odds and found each other at _fourteen._ He and Kageyama are one in a billion, and despite the fighting, and the competing, and the misunderstandings, Shouyou thinks they’re perfect. He wants to tell Kageyama that, maybe more than he wants to improve their quick.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” Shouyou says, more of a whimper than anything. “I don’t feel like myself. I’m not really sleeping, and I don’t wanna eat anymore, not even pork buns, and this _sucks,_ Yachi.”

“I think that’s normal,” Yachi replies, rubbing at the space between his shoulder blades soothingly. “Kageyama-kun is the other half of your _soul_. It’s been, what, a little over a year since you met? And you haven’t even been _actual_ friends for very long. You guys are still getting used to being something close to complete, you know? So, of course the separation is hard. But I believe you'll work through it."

Shouyou nods, wants to believe her, but he just can't seem to stop crying. The fact that she'd called them friends just feels wrong. Not that Shouyou doesn't want that, because he does. It just feels like he and Kageyama skipped the friend part and went straight into something else. Something... undefinable. And Shouyou misses that more than anything. He just... really wants Kageyama. It's bone deep now, just another part of Shouyou, as familiar to him as any other part of his body. And it sucks that he can't have Kageyama back yet.

So, he clings to Yachi. They stay like that until the bell rings.

***

In the days following, Shouyou holds Yachi's words close to his heart. They make him feel less despondent when he works alone with Ukai Senior, when Daichi puts him and Kageyama on opposite sides of the net during practice, when Kageyama can't look at him without immediately turning away.

Shouyou thinks about Yachi's words in those moments, and he feels okay. Yachi is smart. The smartest person Shouyou knows - aside from Tsukishima, maybe, but he's inferior to Yachi in basically every way regardless - and if she thinks he and Kageyama will work things out, then Shouyou will believe her. Even if it seems kinda hopeless.

But then the training camp happens. And Shouyou sees Kageyama on the court,  _really sees him,_ for maybe the first time since their fight. They lock eyes, and there's this  _energy_ there, a sense of recognition similar to what Shouyou had felt back in junior high. They don't say anything to each other, but Shouyou feels a foreign sense of expectation deep in his gut. Something is happening. Something is  _going to happen._ Right there, in front of their teammates and a few other Tokyo teams who may or may not have heard about who exactly they are.

(They probably have, judging by the stares and whispers they've gotten over the weekend, together or apart. It's not like the average person just sees a pair of Twin Flames every day.)

None of it matters. Not to Shouyou, who jumps with his eyes wide open. Not to Kageyama, who tosses the ball exactly where Shouyou wants it like it's nothing, trusting Shouyou to make the right call.

And it just defies all logic, how good it feels. Not just to finally be acknowledged as a volleyball player, but to be acknowledged as an _equal_ by _Kageyama Tobio_ , Shouyou's literal other half. Kageyama Tobio, who apparently listened to everything Shouyou screamed at him and used it to make himself better. To make  _them_ better.

With an immediate certainty that almost terrifies him, Shouyou knows that things will work out. That eventually, they're going to become something beyond the people they are now. Whatever that may look like, whatever they're going to create together, Shouyou can't wait to see.

He somehow doesn't cry into the silence following their first shared point in weeks. But Kageyama does, and it's probably the most jarring thing anyone in the gym has ever seen, this tall, gangly, brooding asshole of a teenager just staring at Shouyou in silence for a few seconds before bursting into loud, ugly, seemingly unprompted sobs. 

Suga and Yamaguchi rush forward before anyone else can even think to move, hovering around Kageyama and asking if he's hurt in frantic voices. Shouyou just stands there, palm stinging and stunned into silence. He's never seen anyone cry so hard in his entire life. Not even Natsu when his mom told her they couldn't get a kitten, and that was the meltdown of the century.

"Is he okay?" The captain of Fukurodani demands, voice pitched high with panic as he ducks under the net to join Suga and Yamaguchi at Kageyama's side. "I didn't hurt him or anything, did I?"

"Bokuto-san, it was  _their ball,_ you didn't do anything."

"Then what happened, Akaashi?"

It's strange. It's wild. It's his and Kageyama's moment, something they can never explain to anyone else. Because  _that?_ Whatever they just went through? It was soul deep and just for them. They couldn't explain it if they tried.

Shouyou doesn't know how to explain how he'd felt, like he'd just taken a warm bath, fallen in love, and come home after a long trip all at once. Although having only ever done one of those things before - until now, he supposes - Shouyou can only make approximations.

It's way easier to just let Kageyama cry for now and make plans to stand back later and watch people poke fun at him once they stop feeling weird about it. Shouyou still gets shit for puking on Tanaka that one time, so Kageyama probably deserves it.

That doesn't stop him from squeezing into the small group of people now standing around Kageyama and hugging him, though. And he tries very hard to be discreet with his own tears when Kageyama hugs him back. Closely. Fiercely. As if he can make them a single entity again through sheer force.

And maybe Kageyama can. Shouyou is now completely of the mind that they can do anything, so long as they stick together.

**Author's Note:**

> the end got away from me but...idk it felt right


End file.
